Dear Tim Gunn...

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about style. I recently went on a buying spree of what I would call wardrobe basics. I bought some basic sweaters and some button downs that can be paired with many other things in my already extensive wardrobe. PS, I’m PISSED I got rid of all my skinny clothes two years ago thinking “I’ll never get back into these pants”. Ugghh!! And quite honestly, the one pair of Kenneth Cole jeans I kept (because they were Kenneth Cole Jeans) are even a tad too big.

What has recently struck me is that it really doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to look good. Clothes are clothes. Why is it more difficult to put on a pair of nice slacks than a pair of jeans? I realize that the comfort level may be slightly less, but I’m not talking about a wearing a suit every day. I am talking about simple classy ensembles that just look good.

Last night I had the opportunity to go to opening night of a stage show here in Chicago. There were plenty of press and guests of the producers on hand. I must say, my date and I looked pretty damn hot. I was dressed in a pair of charcoal slacks, a French cuff shirt with a black sweater vest complete with a black belted trench coat. She was dressed in a black skirt with a royal purple top and a Vera Wang clutch. Again hot!

I think I have pretty good taste in clothes, sometimes too good of taste. I tend to be drawn to all that is DKNY, Hilfiger and Kenneth Cole. I know it’s not THE most high end, but it ain’t cheap. However, I recently found some pretty affordable basics places like Old Navy and of course the Banana Republic Outlet. I purchased some sweaters and sweater vests that I can pair with one of the MANY button downs I own. To add even more variety, all you have to do is switch up the pants. Grey, navy, black and tan slacks and a pair of black, indigo and light blue jeans are really all you need. Okay…go!

So I ask… why is it so difficult to look good? It’s not. It just takes you NOT being lazy. You don’t need to shop J Crew, Banana and Bloomie’s to create style. You just need to get off of your ass. Just so we’re clear, I highly SUGGEST shopping at the stores mentioned above. I’m just saying it’s not absolutely necessary.

Did I seriously just blog about fashion?

Building For My Future

I realized today that I’ve managed to let 4 men into my life who will always be able to get me to stop dead in my tracks. These men were able to get into my heart and steal a sizeable piece for themselves and unlike the wonderful Starfish, the heart cannot regenerate itself. Whether or not they intended to commit this crime is irrelevant. It happened.

Thief #1, "James" is now one of my best friends and that piece of me he is more than welcome to hold on to. The end of our romantic relationship turned in to an amazing and supportive friendship.


Thief #2, "DK" has a chunk of me and it’s totally my fault. I had and quite possibly still have a piece of him too. However, timing is everything and we seem to keep missing each other. It’s the shit of a romantic comedy, I’m tellin’ ya.


Thief #3 is "Le Boyfriend Former". As wrong as we both are for each other, we did have some pretty good times and I will never regret our relationship. I have no idea how he truly feels because he won’t speak to me. Whatever.

Thief #4 is affectionately known as "The Cuban…" I started dating “The Cuban” pretty soon after the break up with “Le Boyfriend Former”. Well dating is actually kind of a stretch. I met “The Cuban”, went out with him a few times, made out with him a few times, shared what I believe to be some pretty personal and intimate details our lives and it didn’t end well to say the least. While he never lied to me during our 4 months of “not dating” and “not having sex” I believe he led me on. I truly believed it was just a waiting game for him to come around and see that I was the best fucking thing for which he could have wished. But alas, it was not meant to be. While I honestly believe that he possesses one or two redeeming qualities, he should realize what he’s passing up and not be such a fucking moron. His loss, right? Too bad he still makes my heart slide into my stomach whenever I see him. Bastard!

By the way, these names have been changed to protect both the innocent and guilty. While some are completely obscure pseudonyms, some are pretty obvious and illustrate their owner’s true identity. IF you don’t like your pseudonym, maybe you should have been just a little nicer to me.

Men recently having a lesser impact on my life include…

Hammered – This is the guy who got shit-faced on our first and only date, then tired to make-out with me at a club. This was followed by him attempting to put his hands up my shorts and me subsequently threatening to break his arm. What kind of girl do you think I am?

Alaska – Nice, smart and very attractive guy. We had hours and hours of conversations, but evidently I didn’t do it for him.

P.A. – Very nice guy. He had a lot of shit going on when we met and we’ve decided to cool it until further notice. I’m not holding my breath.

Tex – This guy is “too close to home”. He is on the periphery of my circle of friends and it was one of those alcohol fueled evenings that led to him asking me out, us fooling around and then him retreating. Mind you we never even got to the date part. I hate people who don’t follow through.

Switzerland – (The most recent in the saga) I met him out one night. Some of his friends pushed us together since they noticed the obvious attraction between the two of us. We had some nice conversations, fooled around, but I have the feeling he’s never gonna call again. My intuition has been pretty right on in these situations and I have a feeling this time is no exception. (PS. I do on occasion HATE being right) He’s also a friend of “The Cuban” which is probably no bueno.

While none of these men came anywhere CLOSE to making me as nuts as Thieves 1-4, I realized that they were still dangerously close to the “goods” and I don’t have the proper security systems in place.

People often describe the prohibition of feeling emotion for others as “The Wall”. Hell, even Pink Floyd has an entire album about the idea. “Another brick in the wall…” I think these guys are on to something. I’ve been thinking a lot about this wall that I need to have built and I think I may be getting the hang of the bricklaying. Now I don’t want to be completely jaded and be one of those people who distrust EVERYONE, but I’m wondering if there is more potential for emotional theft that I first thought. After all I have been pretty sheltered from the dating world for my entire adult life. I really didn’t “date” in college. I usually had one guy that I was dating (my boyfriend) which meant he was the only one with whom I was sleeping, going to parties and hanging out. Two weeks before I graduated from college I met “Le Boyfriend Former” who I was with for almost 7 years. From a risk management point of view, I rank right up there with a 16 year old boy who is learning to drive on his father’s Mercedes E Class.

I don’t think I need something on the scale of the Great Wall of China, but maybe a nice 4 foot English garden wall. One tall enough that someone actually has to make some effort to get over, but not so tall that I have no idea what’s going on around me.

Does anyone know a good residential landscape architect? Good looking, single and gay are preferred. What? You can’t blame a guy for tryin’. :)

My Beautiful Depreciation

Now I’m not a materialistic person. I would much rather spend my money on vacations, good food & drink or the performing arts. (Clothes and shoes don’t count. I need those to express my extraordinary style.) However, I have one prized possession: The Sebring. I love this car. I love to drop the top, crank the tunes and hit the open road. I even sport a ridiculous car tan. Some of you may also call this a farmer tan, but I ain’t no farmer.

Today my Sebring cost me almost $1000. It cost me $939.81 to be exact. Evidently the harsh Chicago Winter and more specifically the potholes that formed from the hot-->cold-->hot-->cold temperatures took quite a toll on the suspension. So much that I was told this morning that I was luck I hadn’t lost control on the Edens this morning. (Assuming I actually could break 30mph on my commute) Now I do love this car, but DAMN! Bitch is costing me something fierce. Guess the cruise is out this winter. Sorry Carol. Tonight I think I’m going to even out the Visa bill and have $60.19 in drinks at Maryoke. Yeah, that’ll make it all better.

Facebook is Ruining My Life – Example #1

So I’ve been sitting on these stories that demonstrate how Facebook and I’m sure other forms of social media have taken over our lives and in many cases ruined them. I myself have come close to a few mental breakdowns after reading items posted on Facebook. Granted I also have read TOO much into some things posted on Facebook, but that’s because I’m neurotic. I’m not going to lie. I know it. I own it.

I plan on posting the stories of past Facebook assaults soon, but this morning I have been attacked once again by what I would call a passive aggressive information ambush. Since this is only my second post I feel the need to give a little back story on my life. I’ll try to make it as short and to the point as possible. My partner of almost 7 years and I broke up in March. It was amicable for the most part. He was miserable, I was miserable and I couldn’t bear to think of him and more importantly ME spending the next 50 years miserable and walking on egg shells. I care about both of us too much. Honestly. Despite the fact that the straw that broke the camel’s back was HIM being caught messing around with another man and HE leaving me in a pool of my own vomit on my 30th birthday, I still seem to have been awarded the role as “bad guy”.

That’s enough back story for now…

This morning I logged into Facebook as I usually do when I get to my desk. It’s Facebook, email, Chicago Tribune and CNN.com live. (In that order) There was a post from a mutual friend of ours in BALTIMORE asking to see what people were doing this weekend and if anyone wanted to join him in a movie weekend. So my EX who is in CHICAGO felt the need to post that he’ll be “boozing it up” with one of my BEST FRIENDS in Turks and Caicos. My EX and I of course are not Facebook friends, but he knows who our mutual friends are. Last week I discovered my EX was on vacation in Martha’s Vineyard with another one of my friends. How did I know you ask? Well the Facebook mobile uploads of course. Nothing says “FUCK YOU I’M A FRIEND STEALER” than a random photo of my EX sitting on a deck at a home that is CLEARLY in New England.

I’m going to need a ruling here…

Question 1: Shouldn’t your friends, particularly your BEST FRIENDS give you just the littlest heads up that they’re on an extended vacation with your EX? Especially when it’s only been a few months since the breakup.

Question 2: Should they be called out on it.

**Disclaimer** I ‘m not going to lie to you. Being invited would have been nice. I’m pissed. I’ve been friends with the BEST since 1996. I just don’t like being blindsided.

Update: Tropical Storm Erika is headed right for Turks and Caicos this weekend. I’ll light a candle and keep my fingers crossed.

Growing a Pair

This evening I met my good friend and former employee Selena out for Margaritas at a local Mexican hot spot. The conversation went from goings on at the old place of employment to stupid people to the men making appearances in our lives. I’m not going in to that ball of fun right now. Trust me, I’ll get to that soon enough.

As we were drinking our fantastic strawberry margaritas (Please note: On the rocks, no salt…EVER) and a bowl of chips this GEORGEOUS tall, dark and yummmmmm man and his friend (who I couldn’t pick out of a line up) walk in. I literally stopped mid-sentence when they sat down at the bar. I managed to make eye contact with him a few times during my conversations with Selena and Candace. Oh, right, Selena’s good friend from school Candace joined us.

As we were walking out, I once again made eye contact with him and he totally checked me out. Selena and Candace noticed too. I honestly don’t remember who’s idea it was, but the suggestion was made that I go up and give Mr. Tall, Dark and I’m gonna guess Brazilian my number. After a block of walking and earnest contemplation, I evidently “grew a pair” and marched back into the restaurant with name and number on a torn receipt in hand.

I walked up to him and said, “Hi, I’m Danny. I don’t normally do this, but I think you’re a very attractive man and if you’d ever like to grab a drink sometime here’s my number. I put it on the bar in front of him, apologized for interrupting and told him to have a good night.

4 hours later…

Actual text from 773-7#3-###2

"Hey this is jim frm mex rstrnt. I’m not dating right now BUT did u like my frnd I was with. We were checking u out for him. Did u think he was cute?"

I replied with a simple “thank you” for texting me back, but he was the one in which I was interested.

His reply:

"It was a very courageous thing to do & I didn’t wanna leave it unanswered. Ok. U have a good night too."

Yes it was!!! And despite the “wahh wahh” outcome, I’ll probably do it again. What the hell, I had nothing to loose.

NEXT!!!!!!!!