Thief #1, "James" is now one of my best friends and that piece of me he is more than welcome to hold on to. The end of our romantic relationship turned in to an amazing and supportive friendship.
Thief #2, "DK" has a chunk of me and it’s totally my fault. I had and quite possibly still have a piece of him too. However, timing is everything and we seem to keep missing each other. It’s the shit of a romantic comedy, I’m tellin’ ya.
Thief #3 is "Le Boyfriend Former". As wrong as we both are for each other, we did have some pretty good times and I will never regret our relationship. I have no idea how he truly feels because he won’t speak to me. Whatever.
Thief #4 is affectionately known as "The Cuban…" I started dating “The Cuban” pretty soon after the break up with “Le Boyfriend Former”. Well dating is actually kind of a stretch. I met “The Cuban”, went out with him a few times, made out with him a few times, shared what I believe to be some pretty personal and intimate details our lives and it didn’t end well to say the least. While he never lied to me during our 4 months of “not dating” and “not having sex” I believe he led me on. I truly believed it was just a waiting game for him to come around and see that I was the best fucking thing for which he could have wished. But alas, it was not meant to be. While I honestly believe that he possesses one or two redeeming qualities, he should realize what he’s passing up and not be such a fucking moron. His loss, right? Too bad he still makes my heart slide into my stomach whenever I see him. Bastard!
By the way, these names have been changed to protect both the innocent and guilty. While some are completely obscure pseudonyms, some are pretty obvious and illustrate their owner’s true identity. IF you don’t like your pseudonym, maybe you should have been just a little nicer to me.
Men recently having a lesser impact on my life include…
Hammered – This is the guy who got shit-faced on our first and only date, then tired to make-out with me at a club. This was followed by him attempting to put his hands up my shorts and me subsequently threatening to break his arm. What kind of girl do you think I am?
Alaska – Nice, smart and very attractive guy. We had hours and hours of conversations, but evidently I didn’t do it for him.
P.A. – Very nice guy. He had a lot of shit going on when we met and we’ve decided to cool it until further notice. I’m not holding my breath.
Tex – This guy is “too close to home”. He is on the periphery of my circle of friends and it was one of those alcohol fueled evenings that led to him asking me out, us fooling around and then him retreating. Mind you we never even got to the date part. I hate people who don’t follow through.
Switzerland – (The most recent in the saga) I met him out one night. Some of his friends pushed us together since they noticed the obvious attraction between the two of us. We had some nice conversations, fooled around, but I have the feeling he’s never gonna call again. My intuition has been pretty right on in these situations and I have a feeling this time is no exception. (PS. I do on occasion HATE being right) He’s also a friend of “The Cuban” which is probably no bueno.
While none of these men came anywhere CLOSE to making me as nuts as Thieves 1-4, I realized that they were still dangerously close to the “goods” and I don’t have the proper security systems in place.
People often describe the prohibition of feeling emotion for others as “The Wall”. Hell, even Pink Floyd has an entire album about the idea. “Another brick in the wall…” I think these guys are on to something. I’ve been thinking a lot about this wall that I need to have built and I think I may be getting the hang of the bricklaying. Now I don’t want to be completely jaded and be one of those people who distrust EVERYONE, but I’m wondering if there is more potential for emotional theft that I first thought. After all I have been pretty sheltered from the dating world for my entire adult life. I really didn’t “date” in college. I usually had one guy that I was dating (my boyfriend) which meant he was the only one with whom I was sleeping, going to parties and hanging out. Two weeks before I graduated from college I met “Le Boyfriend Former” who I was with for almost 7 years. From a risk management point of view, I rank right up there with a 16 year old boy who is learning to drive on his father’s Mercedes E Class.
I don’t think I need something on the scale of the Great Wall of China, but mayb
e a nice 4 foot English garden wall. One tall enough that someone actually has to make some effort to get over, but not so tall that I have no idea what’s going on around me.Does anyone know a good residential landscape architect? Good looking, single and gay are preferred. What? You can’t blame a guy for tryin’. :)
